No Relationships

I'm just like Lady Gaga, except not sexy or talented!

At 46 years of age and living with rapid cycling bipolar type II, borderline personality disorder, and OCD, I decided a long time ago. against attempting any type of romantic relationship again. I tend to attract predators, and I tend to become too emotionally attached.

 I'm not suggesting that everyone take the route I did if they are mentally ill. I'm just saying that some of us may be more damaged than others, and it took me a long time to realize that I'm not somehow a "bad person" for not wanting to be in a relationship and also not having any interest at all in casual sex encounters. I'm a lot less defensive about my choice. 

When people get bent out of shape that I have chosen to be celibate, I realize now that it must be their problem and none of mine. How can my choice regarding sex and relationships reflect on them at all?

I actually understand what Lady Gaga means when she says that she chose to be celibate because when she's involved with someone it's like they are "stealing my creativity through my vagina." When I become involved with someone on that level it is all consuming. They are all I can think about and the rest of my life suffers. I become paranoid and jealous. And if they dump me (which is inevitable because I tend to attract douchebags) I become suicidal. It is not, not, not healthy. Plus, on the off chance that I actually managed to attract a non-douchebag, I would not want to saddle anyone with my metric ton of baggage.

So I am going to roll like Lady Gaga. But I promise you, I will not sing or dress in revealing costumes!