Suicide: When Life Becomes Too Much

Suicide is a potential issue for people from all walks of life but statistics show that LGBT youth are more likely than others to attempt or complete suicide. Autumn Sandeen, a trans-woman who is one of the bloggers with Pam's House Blend, discusses in this post her thoughts on a friend and fellow journalist who committed suicide.

This was my response to Autumn.

Autumn, I am sorry for your loss of your friend. This is such a hard world, so full of stigma. I am straight and am a natal female who is okay with my gender--never had penis envy, but did envy the opportunities offered to those with penises that we with vaginas didn't have. I live with comorbid mental disorders: bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Plus, I am a heavy person in a world that believes skinniness to holiness and fatness to be a sign of sloth and depravity. I was a cutter when I was young and when things go particularly wrong I still have to fight the urge to self-harm. I had numerous para-suicides and one real suicide attempt. I was almost 40 before a counselor finally realized what was actually wrong with me. I had been misdiagnosed as having "depression with anxiety" for years because type II bipolar does not present with full manias. My hoarding issues (hoarding disorder is an offshoot of obsessive compulsive disorder) began to make sense instead of just being a sign that I was "a lazy ass."
I was also once diagnosed as a "hysterical neurotic." Do you love that? Maybe I just needed to have a good "hysterical paroxysm" and everything would have been cool--ha!
I support the Trevor foundation and the struggles of people of all races, nationalities, genders, and sexual orientations. And I am a supporter of compassionate, affordable mental health care for all. I am glad for blogs like this which educate and hopefully help people to know they are not alone in their struggles.
Peace.