The writing prompt for Kat's writer's workshop this week was "A Time You Avoided Punishment."
My brother is actually much better at this than me. I am a terrible liar and tend to get caught. But anyone who knows me for long knows that fart humor is one of my favorite things--I'm juvenile that way. And so though I have rarely avoided punishment for wrongdoing, there was a time that I avoided humiliation--and it ruled! Huh huh huh!
In my 8th grade language arts class, I sat behind this twit named John. He wasn't really a bully and I never harbored any real animosity towards him, but he was annoying and was always making stupid remarks and doing inane things like imitating me. If I sighed, he would sigh. If I had a cold, he would make snuffling noises. If I coughed, he would do an exaggerated cough. And any time I answered a question he would have some stupid remark about my answer. Basically he had all the charm of a case of crab lice.
There were two times that I got just revenge on John. The first time, I sneaked a piece of gum during class. John decided that he would also sneak a piece of gum. The teacher noticed him. She didn't notice me. The teacher decided to take a vote from the class as to whether John should have to spit out his gum. The whole time, he was protesting that I sneaked a piece of gum first. The teacher didn't believe him and everybody laughed at him.
The second moment of vengeance was even more satisfying. It was fragrant with victory. My family had eaten Mexican food for dinner the previous night and the beans were simmering in my digestive tract. I couldn't hold back any longer and let a silent one slip. I prayed that nobody would smell it. However, everyone did. And all eyes turned in the direction of...
John.
"Ewwww, gross, John!" one girl squealed.
"Dang, John!" said one of the fellows.
"But I didn't do it! She did!" John protested, pointing at me.
"Don't lie, John. You know it was you." said another of the girls.
"He who smelt it dealt it," said one of the guys.
"No! It was her!" John cried in vain.
Nobody believed him. And I certainly didn't fess up. When we left class, he glared at me. I just smiled a satisfied smile.
Sometimes justice is served. This time was one of the best--and funniest!
8 comments:
Poor John. Nobody would believe him.
Good job, Cie. :)
I think justice is always served, eventually, it's just we don't always hear about it.
Way to go! That's hilarious.
Atta girl! It's always safe to toot when a boy/man is around. The pharmacy is always a good place to drop some- there is always an old man in the aisle.
Stopping by from Mama Kats
Fragrant with victory. Brilliant. I remember boys like that in middle school!
awesome!! i went to school with a guy named Chris that was the same way, and revenge like that would be awesome AND memorable! stopping by from mamakats!
bwahaha! that's great!
thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday!
Thank you all for your comments. I daresay, this potent post has been my most popular to date!
Post a Comment