This was a response to a post on my friend CJ's blog. The post was rather personal so I'm not going to provide a linkback.
The last five years of my marriage were impossible. I could do nothing right. My ex husband's pet names for me became "dumb cunt" and "stupid bitch." I actually get along with the man well enough now which is good for family solidarity and less stressful on our son, but those times were horrible. Once I said in frustration "what do you want from me? I'm trying my damndest to be a better person! I don't do drugs any more and I've cut way down on drinking." He sneered at me "well, instead of trying to be a better person, why don't you instead try not to be so damn FORGETFUL?"
I didn't know it at the time, but asking someone who's bipolar not to be forgetful is like asking a shark to become a vegetarian.It seems to me like this woman is impossible to please. I don't want to purport to offer advice exactly, but it's very distressing to be with such an inflexible person.
2 comments:
Forgetfulness isn't too bad. Being an a$$hole is worst.
Yeah, he really was at the time. But in looking at the history there are some things that I can understand, not that it excused that particular behavior. He is an adult child of an alcoholic and was used to being in a "rescuing" mode. After I had our son, I worked on not needing to be rescued as much. I think he felt displaced. Also, now the attention I once focused on him was now being focused on the baby, who really needed it. Without some extreme counseling before ever having the baby, there is no way our relationship could have survived. We were both pretty dysfunctional.
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