Signs You're Getting Old: No more spicy food for your weak guts

I made a dismal discovery today. Son was kind enough to spring for dinner at our favorite diner. I had the egg and potato skillet with chorizo and half and half green chili (half mild, half spicy.)

Later on, the "spicy" worked its magic and I found myself glad that I'm somewhat incontinent of urine, because if I hadn't been wearing a Poise pad, I would have been changing my underwear and pants. Like Fry in the above photo, I was hoping it was a fart and not a shart. Alas, it was not meant to be.

So in order to avoid potential future embarrassment, I will henceforth be avoiding the spicy green chili. 

Getting old means: Glad you're incontinent of urine because it will protect your pants from sharts when you eat spicy food.

Wow. That's fucking dismal.

Have fun, Kiddies!