Where is my anti-loneliness pill?

The pills work fairly well to combat the severe irritability that made me so impossible to live with.

They don't make the urge to cut go away but they make me strong enough so I can tell it to shut up.

But they don't combat the loneliness.

I wish that I would see personal emails in my inbox.

I wish that someone might call me.

I wish I had the courage to follow up on seeing if that EVP fellow could get anything from my father.

I wish I still believed in anything.

But I just don't any more.

And I am very, very alone.

Oh look, more fat jokes. Yawn!

Brooke of the Dumb Blog pulls the old "ha ha look at the fatties make fools of themselves" card. This is not the first time Brooke has hated on large people. Witness her post regarding her belief that it is "good for" chubby children to be bullied in gym class because it will "force them to become healthier."

This was my response to Heavy Hatin' Brooke on this occasion.

In other words chubby folk can make asses of themselves too. Would these individuals really look any less stupid if they were thinner?

People come in all sizes, shapes, colors. Some have deformities. Some are missing limbs. I for one am very tired of all the hating on larger people. How is all the hate making the world a better, or "healthier" place? Hate is not healthy.

RT @topnews Nasa cites significant step in search for habitable planets. http://tgr.ph/f0bmFV

Faycin is feeling half past dead.

http://ping.fm/QK8Ka If you friend feed, you can feed me. Or friend me. Or something.

Effing cold. I wish I hadn't agreed to fill in for my co-worker tonight. :-(

Faycin has not been able to sleep today. I don't know which Crazy Train has pulled into the station: Hypomania or mixed episode.

RT @mysahana A5: It's also validating, normalizing and stress-relieving to be around people who understand what you're going through mhsm

http://ping.fm/Jn2WK Faycin's Crazy Pot Got Stirred

Faycin's Crazy Pot Got Stirred

Here is my response to a post that uses a lot of stigmatizing language towards the mentally ill regarding the recent tragic murders by the individual in Arizona.

While I agree that Palin's gun fanaticism is misplaced, I would like to point out that most persons with mental illness are not a danger to others and are more likely to be victimized than to be victimizers. Violent individuals such as this attacker are the minority, but every time such a tragedy happens, the majority of mentally ill people are further stigmatized. I also take exception to the term "mental defective." I am mentally ill, but I will no longer remain silent about being referred to by such terms as "defective" and "crazy." I am aware of what constitutes reality, I am aware of my own problems, and I would never gun down a crowd of people or commit any other such violent act. I wish that people would choose their words more thoughtfully. The millions of mentally ill individuals are people deserving of respect as much as those who have not been so diagnosed.

http://ping.fm/tppEW Help end cyber bullying.

RT @breakingnews It's snowing in 49 states today, including Hawaii - KHNL http://bit.ly/gwnSsM

There will be no more Cat Terrorism of Scared Newest Kitty in my house on my watch. The Squirt bottle is out and at the ready!

http://ping.fm/qm4bq Retrofuturism is fun! Where is my flying car and ray gun???

Vote to give this idea $25K: Offer a spay/neuter program for the cats/dogs of low income people...#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/bkiUKW

Vote to give this idea $25K: Open a pet pantry to feed dogs and cats of families in need pepsirefresh http://pep.si/b1EDk2

Vote to give this idea $50K: Save homeless pets across America! Cats and Dogs need us!#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/asFfkX

Vote to give this idea $50K: Save the kitties! Support a free spay/neuter clinic for homeless cats pepsirefresh http://pep.si/f9Wyh7

Vote to give this idea $25K: The Mosa Fund prevents unwanted kittens by fixing wild cats.#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/hkMjQV

Vote to give this idea $50K: Help black cats and dogs have a better chance to find loving homes.#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/bPWRoS

Vote to give this idea $25K: Help homeless / stray cats & work towards making our community no-kill#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/f5VDWz

Vote to give this idea $50K: Work towards zero euthanasia by sterilizing 3,000 homeless/stray cats#pepsirefresh http://pep.si/dmaJOs

http://pep.si/fOCgRQ Vote for Tiny Timmy!

I tell you people, it will be positively balmy here tomorrow--almost 40 degrees!

Don't forget to watch Glory Daze tonight! It's a funny show and doesn't hurt that one of my relatives is on it either!

http://ping.fm/OQElc Creative Acres in Brighton, CO

http://ping.fm/yIWMA List of No Kill shelters in Colorado

http://ping.fm/EB4qv Shame on NZ's Next Top Model. Crush videos not funny!

http://ping.fm/uegeC I hope this sick POS is prosecuted.

Step Down From your High Horse Please

Atchka at Fierce Fatties was incensed by a commenter whom he felt was being condescending and telling people what to eat. I must say much of their diatribe was rather condescending. You may read the post and decide for yourself. Here was my assessment.

It reminds me of how incensed I got when the uber privileged Gwyneth Paltrow made the remark that she "can't be expected to live like people who make $25,000 a year." Or how very rich enlightenment gurus tell people that if they "just relax" everything will be okay. Well, I only make $25,000 a year and thus it's very hard to "just relax!"

I loathe McDonald's myself for a variety of reasons. But if that's all a person has money for and all they can muster the will to get, then I'll be damned if I'm going to tell them not to.

People are poor for a variety of reasons. The mentally ill (myself included) have often had difficulty getting and/or keeping any job, let alone one that pays well. Sometimes it's all a person can do to get up and get anything done, let alone much in the way of cooking.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you can do to survive.

I hate when people get on their high horse. Which it seems that this person was doing.

Elle Magazine: Apologize for Trying to 'Whiten' Indian Skin http://t.co/SshtWmT via @change

http://ping.fm/osiNe Treatment resistant depression

Love you dear son. May your trip be safe and your stay in AZ productive. I'll miss you. Look forward to hearing from you.

http://ping.fm/AnoI9 What makes you think they even give a shit?

http://ping.fm/ZwcwB Well if this doesn't sound like the story of my life!

RT @mysahana Remove the stigma Having mental illness does not make you violent! http://ow.ly/3Bxys mentalhealth psychology mentalillness

RT @thelittleidiot paul krugman on right wing culture of hate: http://ping.fm/4SI5N

@thespindleshay My cats destroyed my keyboard. I had to go get a new one. My printer's been down for months.

http://ping.fm/HILjv Bipolar I & II

I "like" No Kill Nation and "stop Fur Farming." How did FB decide that I needed a furmall dot com ad in my sidebar???

More Whining

I know all I do is whine, and that's why nobody likes me. I'm sick and in a lot of pain right now. Perimenopause is making my cycle crazy. The last time I went five weeks between and the period wasn't too bad. This time I only went 26 days, I'm having abdominal cramps, I feel nauseated, and I'm extremely depressed. I wish this shit would just draw to a close, but apparently I could have 5-10 more years of it. What the hell do I need it for?

I sure don't understand these women that want to get pregnant in their 50's. I'm in my mid forties and if someone asked if I wanted another baby at this stage of life my answer to them would be "what the fuck are you, insane?"

Where are all the friends that used to talk to me? 

All they ever told me was good news.

Yeah...

I am beyond disgusted with myself that I dream of the friend that was so vicious to me, about repairing that friendship, more than I dream about my own father. I think that's the lowest of the low and super desperate and just proves the creep's point that I'm just an emotionally immature little parasite.

I would never take him back as a friend anyway. But I guess the connection meant a great deal to me since I dream of repairing it all the time.

I hate myself.

Sniveling Piece of Crap

It's time for Whiny McWhinikins to come out and play. Whiny McWhinikins is a worthless, sniveling little coward that never does anything but cause trouble for everybody. Nobody likes Whiny McWhinikins because all she does is whine. That makes Whiny McWhinikins very, very sad. Boo hoo hoo.

Whiny McWhinikins wishes she had the courage to just kill herself, which is what she should do because she is nothing but a worthless, needy little resource sucker. But Whiny McWhinikins is a scaredy-pants. What if when I put the gun to my worthless little head and pull the trigger and blow my tiny little brain all over the wall there's nothing on the other side but oblivion. Awww. Poor Whiny. Boo hoo hoo.

Whiny is a worthless piece of shit and nobody likes her. She lost thwee fwiends last year because nobody can stand being around such a needy loser. Waah waah wahh. Poor Whiny. 

Whiny thinks that one friend was actually a ghost! Stupid Whiny! Rational people know there's no such thing as ghosts! This was all in your own pathetic little head. Therefore, even your subconscious can't stand you! Wow! Loser, loser, loser! 

The other friend was someone that paid a lot of attention to Whiny but threatened Whiny's sense of security because she asked too many questions about Whiny's friend the ghost. So Whiny was kind of cold and rude to her. Now she never contacts Whiny any more. Well, what did Whiny expect? Stupid Whiny!

The other fwiend was Whiny's fwiend for five years and he suddenly turned against Whiny and told her the truth: that she is a stupid emotionally immature loser. He hasn't talked to Whiny since October. Whiny still has dreams that they are friends again. STUPID STUPID WHINY! Ha ha ha! 

Whiny's son is going to be going away for a long time, probably because he can't stand being around Whiny either. Now Whiny is going to be all alone except for her pets. Waah waah waah! 

Whiny's father died last year. Her father was really sick. But Whiny acts like this kind of thing never happens to aging parents or sick people. She keeps thinking she can talk to her father. She was even going to try to get this guy who gets voice recordings from ghosts to see if he could talk to him. But she chickened out. Ha ha ha! Stupid Whiny! What a stupid loser she is!

Whiny has to go to nursing school even though she hates it because her mother is paying for her to go. She has to do what her mother says because she's such a stupid loser that she can't even pay for her own housing without help. Whiny's mother is really ashamed of Whiny. So is Whiny's brother. Whiny can't do anything right. She's an embarrassment to her family. 

What does Whiny want to do instead of going to nursing school? She wants to be A WRITER! What a stupid piece of shit she is. Stupid Whiny! Only talented people can be writers!

Whiny day dreams all the time of putting a gun to her head and pulling the trigger. She can see what it would look like when the blood and brain splattered out on the wall. That would be really good! Because Whiny is a nothing and a loser. But she can't even get that right because she's such a chicken. Stupid, stupid Whiny!

Whiny McWhinikins really is nothing but a sniveling piece of crap and the worst most stupid loser ever. We really hope she gets up the courage to finally live out her fantasy of killing herself. Everyone would be better off without her!