High Times in the Circulation Room

The writing prompt for the week is "A Memorable High School Job."

Well, you asked for it!

Back in high school, I was not a boring dweebosaurus like I am now. I looked pretty innocent, but I was a real wild child. I shook it loose and I smoked it up and I drank alone and I drank with friends. I never met a jay I didn't like or a beer I could put down. 

In those wild daze of yore, I worked at the local newspaper in the circulation room. I worked with a few fellow teenage stoners, a big gay guy of around 40 who looked like Harvey Fierstein, a couple of hippie dudes in their 30's (one of whom, in retrospect, was a bit of a perv--I was seventeen and he hit on me a couple of times, but he was respectful when I turned him down) and a really, really nerdy fellow who was 28, lived with his mom, and looked a lot like Rick Moranis. 

Now, a job in the newspaper circulation room may sound pretty tame, but once the work was done it was time to cut loose. Usually this involved beer and pot, but one night it involved acid. The older guys did not drop the acid but me and my fellow young dumbasses did--before the work was done, mind. And then things started to get stooooopid in spades.

First, Danny saw the rat. Jeff and I couldn't see the rat yet, but then Danny introduced us, and we saw him. We also saw a couple of friendly neon beetles. I could see and taste the music. Things really ruled for a while. And then the trip turned kinda bad and I felt like my tongue was trying to crawl down my throat. I ran outside and tried to pull my tongue out of my mouth. Chris, my supervisor, who was one of the guys in his 30's, came out to ask if I was all right. I said I was--I was trying to pretend I wasn't tripping straight out of my head. Yeah--as if he hadn't noticed.

Ed, the nerdy fellow, was completely unnerved by all of this. He tried to tell Chris that he should fire the lot of us. Chris said no, he thought we'd probably learned our lesson. Then he admonished us to never, ever do anything so stupid again and to go the fuck home and sleep it off. A good enough idea, except guess who was driving.

It was Faycin at the wheel, and I will never know how I got home without getting busted or wrapping my car around a telephone pole that night. The poinsettias were growing so pretty on the lawn of the junior high and I pointed this out to Jeff and Danny, who had no problem at all riding with someone who was tripping. Somehow I had the presence of mind to drive right at the speed limit and after I drove to the south end of town to drop Danny and Jeff off (luckily our town wasn't very big, probably only about 10 miles across from north to south) I drove my own dumb ass home.

Where I proceeded to call this dude I'd had a crush on since the beginning of the year and tell him I was in love with him.

Yeah...

Come Monday, I found Dude and told him to please disregard any stupid things I may have said while my brain was tripping the light fantastic across the Universe. I told him I had been straight out of my head and sure I loved him, but I meant as a friend, not romantically.

As I have mentioned before, I am a bad liar, and I knew he didn't believe me even though he said he did. He was two years younger than I was and at the end of the school year he invited me over to his house to give me a graduation present, which turned out to be a grope-fest. Unfortunately, doing this ruined our friendship. I ended up heartbroken because I've never been the type to go for casual hook-ups, and he was certainly too young for anything serious. Ah well...so it goes.

Many years later my father asked me if I regretted the crazy stuff I did in high school. I said that I really didn't because it doesn't do any good to dwell on regrets and to be honest, I had a damn good time. But I realized I couldn't keep doing things that way. 

These days I don't even drink beer and I hate the idea of doing mind-altering substances. But I will never forget those crazy days. They bring a grin to my face and make me shake my head that I survived it all!

My Family's Shite Luck

My brother called my mother last night and told her that he's been sleeping at the fire station (where he's captain) for the last week because his wife told him that he doesn't "excite" her any more. This is fucked up on multiple levels. He works his ass off, so maybe she could cite workaholism. But...

She has rheumatoid arthritis. He takes her EVERYWHERE for her appointments whenever he's home. He does the majority of the housework. He takes care of the 7 dogs--all strays brought in by her. He does everything he asks.

Second, our dad died just 2 1/2 months ago now. So, excuuuuuuse the fuck out of my brother if he's not Mr. Jolly Times, maybe?

So it was a real cunt move on her part. 

Granted, it was never a real passionate marriage. My father actually told my brother that he shouldn't marry my soon to be ex sister in law if he didn't feel passion for her. My brother's reply was "but she's a good person."

Yeah...that's the same mistake I made. Marrying for logic instead of love. Now, it isn't that you need to feel drooling lust constantly for your partner, in fact sometimes that can be a really bad thing to base a relationship on. But there has to be some sort of spark. Otherwise, that person should never be more than a friend.

I feel really awful for my brother. He put a lot into this marriage. She's going to see how much she's fucked herself over once he's not there to do everything she needs any more. But he should never, ever go back. Once someone stabs you in the heart that way, they'll do it again. She's unstable. But it cannot be his problem any more.

Faycin is Seeing Stars and Emulating them Too

Stars that you will find in this post:

Red Giant Star

A white dwarf star

A Rock star

Reality TV "stars" (more like a cultural black hole)

Well, at least if one is going to have an erotic dream, it is best if one's partner is not repulsive. The unfortunate thing is that often when I have this type of dream, the partner is someone that I would not touch with a ten foot pole. At least in this case they were someone who is not repulsive. However when I woke up, I had to laugh, because my first thought was "yeah, THAT would happen--so not!"

Nikki Sixx is a cool guy and he's not bad looking at all. But I must say, I am not his type. Not even because I'm overweight and have my own natural boobs, but because I'm not abusive enough. This guy only goes for women who will eventually take a crap on his emotions. His last girlfriend was Kat von D--really, dude? Kat von D?--Who at any rate, dumped him for Jesse Shames because she thought that it was "hot" that Jesse is the most hated man in America.

Faycin and Nikki Sixx--do I think we'd be chums if we met? Yes, I do. We tend to find the same things interesting, and, as I said, he actually is a nice guy. Do I think we'd, even in the wildest of circumstances, be an item? No, I do not. Faycin is too much of a nice gal.

There are people out there--both male and female--who are only attracted to those who are going to abuse them. I used to be like that. I used to find guys who were totally emotionally unavailable and pursue them so I could fix them. At this point I do not want any romantic relationships because I know I only get involved in fucked up ones. 

Of course, one of these days hell may in fact freeze over, and Nikki Sixx and Faycin may meet and find out we don't want to be abused emotionally any more and will settle down in a glorious middle aged sex fest that everyone will hope and pray we aren't sick or stupid enough to release as a sex tape.

Honestly--how anyone could think that other people actually want to watch them having sex is beyond me.

Of course, I tend to be kind of asexual in my waking life, so it really doesn't matter anyhow.

Besides, I'm having such a horrifying time with perimenopause that the last thing I feel is sexy. I go five weeks between visits from Aunt Flo, but when the bitch comes, she stays for two weeks! 

Comparing women to stars, this is the "red giant" phase of the female life cycle. Everything is expanding. The length between Aunt Flo visits is growing longer, but the visits last for a longer time and are heavier. NOT FUN! I await the "white dwarf" phase when it's all done and over with and I can put Aunt Flo into her tomb for good!